It’s A Wonder I Retain Any Self-Respect


At the end of every school year, every student goes through burnout, but no one flames out half as badly as the teachers. By the last week, makeup was no longer a priority for me.

(As she entered the room…)

D’Avonte: (looking me over) “Ohhhh, UHHHH-UHHHH, you best go over to your closet, honey…take OUT your purse, and put something on your face, because if you think I’m listening to any of your crap about math right now, with you looking like that, you are sadly mistaken.”

Me: “Hey, you’re being mean.”

D’Avonte: “Honey, I am saving you from yourself.  Where IS your lipstick?  Where IS your dignity?”

38 thoughts on “It’s A Wonder I Retain Any Self-Respect

  1. The problem was putting on make up way back when. I’ve never worn any. People are appropriately shocked into silence the moment they first meet me. It never comes up.

  2. Oh, how I’ve missed the wisdom of D’Avonte!

    Kinda hilarious that I came across this post while enjoying a guilty pleasure – a Big Freedia marathon on Fuse. 😀

  3. I’ve forgotten if I knew this previously: Are you a (natural) redhead? If yes, makeup is not optional unless we wish to scare dogs, small children, and anyone born post-Zombie Era.

    We are naturally brow-less and lip-less. Our Revlon foundation shade? Dead Fish Belly.

  4. pjsandchocolate

    “If my make-up is too bold, it’s because I want men mesmerized by my lips when I say ‘You’re fired.'”

    – Possible future quote attributed to “D’Avonte, future CEO and founder of Divine Cosmetics

  5. I’m pretty sure this student has been in my class. I once had a serious heart to heart with a student about how often I wash my hair (which is not… not often).
    Her response was, “That’s a really long time to go without washing your hair for… a person… of… your ethnicity.”

    I don’t wear makeup either. It makes it all that more impressive when I do.

  6. Well my understanding has always been that lipstick signifies ‘Hope’, not dignity. But I suppose as it rekindles one’s hope about the future, it ushers in positivity into our life leading to higher dignity I suppose.

    Great post!


  7. stormydreams

    What am I going to do ALL summer without my updates on this bright spot of light in a world afraid to laugh???? I’m already going through withdrawls!

      • stormydreams

        Want a full update! I still think kids could learn a lot from this one. That level of comfort in one’s own skin is something many ADULTS have yet to master. Having it so young – bright future ahead. I tell you, especially with people like you in her corner!

      • I’m taking her to a “friendly” hipster joint in central Phoenix. I’m warning her to be fancy…just because I love when she’s fancy. 🙂

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