Yes, My ‘About Me’ Still Says I’m In My 30’s…Suck It, I Lie Sometimes


Liam: “Good morning!  Happy birthday!”

Me: “Thanks, Sweetie.”

Xavier: “We forgot to make you breakfast in bed.”

Me: “Breakfast in bed is overrated.  Hugs are not.”

Liam: “For your birthday, we’ll do anything you want.”

Me: “ANYTHING!?”  (singing) “Scrub the whole house!”

Xavier: “Damn it, Liam!”

47 thoughts on “Yes, My ‘About Me’ Still Says I’m In My 30’s…Suck It, I Lie Sometimes

  1. Randstein

    Happy Birthday young lady! Aging wouldn’t be much of a problem if we could overcome gravity. Most dangling participles regret gravity, eventually. But, just to make you feel better; you will be happy to know that time and aging is an illusion due to the limitations of the human brain and eyes. In the true world, governed by quantum mechanics, time is not linear nor does it pass by like rabbits after a carrot parade. So, relax. Enjoy the illusion of time and always position yourself to take advantage of gravity instead of the other way around 😉

  2. Doug in Oakland

    Happy birthday!! On my fortieth birthday I drove a delivery route to Sacramento and my boss gave me an Aimee Mann CD… I couldn’t get anyone to clean my room for me, so you must be doing better than I was back then.

  3. Depending upon whether you nursed, and whether you were scrupulous about nursing precisely the same amount from both boobs, you may be able to take comfort in having one boob still in its 30s. I, for instance, at my more advanced age, have one boob two entire decades younger than the other. All I need do for a pick-me-up is pick up the other.
    Voila!: Instant youth. (From the neck down.)

    (And the boobs up.)

    Happy Birthday, Meg.

  4. I’m sorry, but fuck yeah. Clean my house, little ‘uns, and you will have my undying gratitude. As someone over thirtyish myself, I gotta appreciate a good free scrubbing.

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