Liam: “Good morning! Happy birthday!”
Me: “Thanks, Sweetie.”
Xavier: “We forgot to make you breakfast in bed.”
Me: “Breakfast in bed is overrated. Hugs are not.”
Liam: “For your birthday, we’ll do anything you want.”
Me: “ANYTHING!?” (singing) “Scrub the whole house!”
Xavier: “Damn it, Liam!”
47 thoughts on “Yes, My ‘About Me’ Still Says I’m In My 30’s…Suck It, I Lie Sometimes”
Gosh, that would be a wonderful birthday present. Happy Birthday, 30-something.
Luv, a 40-something (for real)
Trust me sister…I sailed past that mark, now. 🙂
Why didn’t I think of that on my birthday? lol
You want my sons to scrub you house? Weird! (so totally kidding.) 🙂
Nah, I got my own. Lol
Shit, let’s hope they don’t unionize.
Crap, I didn’t think about that!
our words may say 30 but our tits say otherwise. happy birthday, meg.
Damn it, Boobs…get it together!
Happy Birthday! Have a great one.
Welcome to the best decade of life.
There’s a freedom in, “I’m 40, I don’t have to take shit anymore”.
Happy birthday. Soon you’ll be old enough to wear diapers and feel like a kid all over again.
Once again, John has the brightest of bright sides. 🙂
I take pride in my craft.
You are the Pinterest of crafts. 🙂
I don’t know what that means but I’ll take it as a compliment.
I’m totally rewriting this to be about a boy, and to mention Tim Horton’s and your allegedly heavenly ass, so we can make it your theme song.
Can you include a drawing of me riding a tiger (to go with the theme song)?
Shirtless? With a mullet?
Now I feel like it’s my birthday.
Happy Birthday young lady! Aging wouldn’t be much of a problem if we could overcome gravity. Most dangling participles regret gravity, eventually. But, just to make you feel better; you will be happy to know that time and aging is an illusion due to the limitations of the human brain and eyes. In the true world, governed by quantum mechanics, time is not linear nor does it pass by like rabbits after a carrot parade. So, relax. Enjoy the illusion of time and always position yourself to take advantage of gravity instead of the other way around 😉
What about if I just live laying down…TAKE THAT GRAVITY!!! 🙂
That would be defying gravity and that is way kool! You win 🙂
That and it facilitates naps.
You’ve convinced me to try it too! 🙂
Happy birthday!! On my fortieth birthday I drove a delivery route to Sacramento and my boss gave me an Aimee Mann CD… I couldn’t get anyone to clean my room for me, so you must be doing better than I was back then.
Now, if I could listen to Aimee Mann WHILE they clean…
Well, there was that episode of Portlandia where they hired Aimee Mann to clean their house…
Happy birfday my friend! You gotta try these things eh 🙂
I think I’m going to need you to pick the perfect birthday menu. Suggestions?
Obviously whatever it is it will need to be served by child slaves!
I like the way you think
Depending upon whether you nursed, and whether you were scrupulous about nursing precisely the same amount from both boobs, you may be able to take comfort in having one boob still in its 30s. I, for instance, at my more advanced age, have one boob two entire decades younger than the other. All I need do for a pick-me-up is pick up the other.
Voila!: Instant youth. (From the neck down.)
(And the boobs up.)
Happy Birthday, Meg.
I wish, but with twins…I needed both of those bastards. ZOINKS!
Thank them now. They’re the reason the other twins now have the same compass direction heading.
Can you imagine the therapy, if I told them that?
Keep it in your back pocket for when they’re REALLY annoying.
Shoot. Should have said “breast” pocket, huh?
Apparently Liam’s the really open one… Watch, next year it’s going to be Xavier opening his mouth first 😀
I’m sorry, but fuck yeah. Clean my house, little ‘uns, and you will have my undying gratitude. As someone over thirtyish myself, I gotta appreciate a good free scrubbing.
Right!? Anyone who will scrub your house or your back is worth having around, at this point.