For those of you who are new, I teach teenagers who have emotional and behavioral disorders. For the record, I’d like to meet a teenager who DOESN’T have an emotional or behavioral disorder, and frankly, I think my kids are WAY more awesome than most kids.
D’Avonte: “It smells like ass in here.”
Me: “Sorry to hear that. You want to sit closer to the Plug-In?”
D’Avonte: “That doesn’t work, because then I just smell pine trees and ass.”
Me: *shrugs*
D’Avonte: “Can’t we open a window?”
Me: “The windows don’t open.”
D’Avonte: (pauses) “Is it because we’re…you know…crazy?”
Me: “What?”
D’Avonte: “You know, they’re afraid we’ll jump out the windows and kill ourselves.”
Me: “Honey…”
D’Avonte: “Yeah.”
Me: “We’re on the first floor.”
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
I love that D’Avonte. By the way, is that pronounced with an “eh” at the end, as in Dav-ont-eh???
Most lovable child ever. 🙂 It’s dah-von-tay. 🙂
Awesome! 🙂
🙂
Oh bless him!
LOL…I love saying that to people with a drawl… “Oh bless your heart.” 🙂
Haha! That’s def our go-to phrase around these parts!
One of the all-time greats, really.
Pine trees and ass? That would be what, a Euell Gibbons fart?
I feel we could get grant money for research!
That might be easier if he weren’t dead. Fun fact: Euell Gibbons is dead and Keith Richards is about to go back out on tour with the Rolling Stones.
Damn it! Keith Richards will be alive after nuclear fallout.
Does it smell like ass?
It smells like stank ass!
Yikes! That is really sad. Too bad it didn’t smell like the perfection that is my ass. Your class would weep tears of joy.
Even if your ass is as fine as chiseled marble…it still smells like ass. It’s the saddest truth of life, friend. *tear*
Sigh. You are right. I hate that you are right, but you are.
It’s a blessing…and a curse.
In the UK, Axe is called Lynx. When a guy in my work once used so much it was making our eyes water, a colleague asked him what it was.
“Lynx.” he replied, to which I immediately stated “Pork links by the smell of it.”
HA! Which of course reminds me of Sex Panther!
Only in institutionalized learning do we have the gustatory appetence of ass in a room with windows that don’t open to protect jumpers on the first floor. And sadly, it’s all necessary because when one researches the inane policies of government we find that statistically people will and have jumped out the window of the first floor to escape some ass and was injured, sued, and became independently wealthy at the taxpayers expense. Unless of course you work in a privately funded facility and then it’s just a mere oversight. I agree with Davonte. Nothing is worse than an environment that smells like someone pooped a pine tree. 🙂
I blame the fact that we’re officially LAST in per/pupil spending in Arizona. That’s why my room smells…because we suck. lol
And then there is the third order effect of the ever present suck factor! 🙂
Ever-present Suck Factor…best band name ever.
D’Avonte is truly a treasure. 🙂
The best sort of treasure, right? D’A is better than that giant pile of treasure in Pirates of the Caribbean, that made me want to jump out of the boat, when I was a kid. 🙂
Reminds me of a movie I watched… (jumping out the window on the first floor):
“It’d be hell on the Azalea Bushes…”
And now I must see this movie!
Latter Days is the movie. It’s gay themed. Pretty good for a sort of romance drama.
I’ll have to check that one. Ypuve seen Jeffrey, yes?
Of course… I would lose my gay card if I didn’t… Especially if I can’t quote this scene alone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX2M2TZrStU
I love Patrick Stewart so much. “Can I pull this off…or do I look like a gay superhero?”
“Who’s Martha Stewart?”
“She writes picture books about gracious living.. Martha says, nothing else matters as long as you can do a nice dried floral arrangement… I worship her!”
“And um, who’s Ann Miller?”
“Leave this house!”
Ohhhh, I have to watch it thirty times now. Sigh.
LOL… I admit, I have a long memory. YouTube helps sometimes 😀
That whole movie is just a series of brilliant one-liners.
I have a few handfuls of movies that fit that bill. An old one from the 60s called “The Lion in Winter” with Peter O’Toole and Katharine Hepburn is another.
I haven’t seen that one since I was a kid. Great, great movie, though. I realized, yesterday, that I own Jeffrey…on VHS. Yeah, that’s useful.
Annnnnd I’m reordering on DVD. 🙂
I love me some D’Avonte…… Oh to be inside that mind for just a moment would be an awesome adventure.
Seriously, and you haven’t even seen her legs. I’d KILL for them. Damn drag queens are always prettier than me. lol
Love D’Avonte stories! You should tell her it’s so the teachers cannot escape. Lol
Ugh, isn’t that the damn truth. lol
“Pine trees and ass.” Gotta love that D’Avonte! You made me cackle at Starbucks. Thanks and peace, John
She can always be counted on for putting things in perspective. Lol