Look, guys, I know that I’m not exactly running a vegan cooking blog, but can we PLEASE discuss the internet searches that are leading people here? Seagulls, people who hate physics, basilisks, and a horrifying amount of requests for dicks? And why do all the requests for female genitalia demand that they be “fancy”? That hardly seems fair. So, dicks are fine as long as they’re in HD, but the vaginas…those better be spruced up, goddamn it. And how spruced up are we talking? Like glitter and gems, or will a tiny chapeau do the trick?
I can only assume that the people requesting “pics of hell” were sent here to see this:
And “memes de alf”? France, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that query came from Belgium. De rein.
Now, if you’ll please excuse me…I have some Penis Day cards to send. Thanks, Hallmark!
71 thoughts on “Friends…We Need To Talk…About Seagulls and Fancy Pussies”
LMAO! All I can think is “I need to tag my posts more creatively”
Seriously, wtf? I used to jokingly put fucked up tags on my stuff, and that stuff never gets hits, but “fancy pussy”…thst shit finds me.
I think we should both make our pussies all fancy for penis day. You in?
That won’t be the only thing that goes in. Heeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!
That’s what she said…
She’s so dirty. I love her.
Sounds like No. 18 – “Perverts and Weirdos” – pretty much sums it up. 😉
And not just my week on google…but my whole fucking life.
Please teach me the secret of getting search terms that are not blocked by Google privacy laws. I’ve been on WordPress for over a year and there are literally only half a dozen search terms available… and they SUCK!
Girl, I wish I knew. Lol. This comes accidentally, I assure you.
…And I always thought the Internet searches that led people to mine were odd, I should’ve known it could be worse.. LOL
I just looked at the list for the whole month of March. It reads like the library list from the damned.
Fancy pussies… LOL (I just about spit my coffee out through my nose!)
Fancy pussies!!! If they had pinkies, they’d be held aloft!
It’s the Panda Full Body that got me wondering….
Yeah, seriously…who needs ALL the panda, when everyone knows the ears are the most delicious part. Lol.
There are 2 for “purple rock”. What am I missing? The only purple rock I know of is amethyst!
There’s a rumor that this community in north Phoenix is rife with swingers who identify each other by placing purple rocks on their yards. Ryan and I are borderline obsessed with it. Lol
So. Do people just come up to your door and ask if you’re interested in swinging? What happens next? So curious for new adventures!
I don’t know, and it’s killlling me. It’s fascinating.
#7 has me intrigued.
I had to look…and once I did, I realized I should have known. Lol
Hahaha. I am a predictable degenerate.
Better than a wild card pervert!
I’m putting that on a t-shirt.
50/50 split, homie.
Of course. I’ll also send you a picture of me wearing it. And without a bra. Meeeeoooowwww.
More like a “bro”. Heyyyyyu
Or manzier. Ba dum ching!
In response to #20, and yes I realize it’s a donkey not a mule…
Either way it’s a win, really. 🙂
I want to know who is searching for full body shots of pandas.
I think it’s John, but he won’t admit it.
Every time your post titles I think “good thing I don’t check wordpress at work.”
Isn’t the search term list great fun? For a long time mine was full of things like “naked sexy jungle people” – but your list beats mine for perversion. By a long shot. What kind of site you running here anyway?
Straight porn, right!?
Annnnd now I want to Google “naked sexy jungle people”. Damn it.
Am I allowed to give an old post of mine a shout-out? Cuz I had fun with this post about my search terms…
Mais oui!!! 🙂
I’m curious as to who is searching for “perverts and weirdos”.
Someone looking for a hot date, apparently.
I must admit, I am a bit intrigued by the Harry Potter drug jokes…. One can only take HD Full Body Panda Penis Pics for so long…
That last sentence just got us on a Humane Society watch list.
HAHA! Something for everybody on the super-highway!
I enjoy your blog tremendously and I’m always amazed at what brings us here. I’m envious. In three months time Google has ignored me. Not a single search term. My spam folder is empty. Not one bot has boinked my boisterous bloviations. Clearly I should just give up and go watch Zombie Go Boom vids on YouTube. Maybe I’ll rename my site to MonkeySpank-Dot-Com and post images of Felines and Boreal primates. That should bring em in…
If you buy monkeyspank.com, I’m reading BOTH your blogs, but only admitting to the first one. Lol
Your patronage at MonkeySpank will always be appreciated 🙂 I’m hoping John stops by also to whip the followers into a frenzy with his commentary. Boreals and felines are so boisterous in each other’s company as you know. 🙂
Pffffft, you said feline. 🙂
That’s only to entice Pervo the Clown to search for my site. Should I say they are fancy felines to pull in a wider demographic of the curiously demented? I’m thinking a Tabby with a tight sweater and feather hair bow hugging a bush baby with a salon blow-dry and a touch of hair gel should do the trick.
Okay, now I REALLY want to see this.
As Charlie Brown would say… 🙂
What in the gay hell are you searching for that you’re looking at this list. hmmm? 😀
Nooooo, these are the Google searches that people entered that got them into my blog. lol I never search for full body Panda; everyone knows I only prefer the lower third.
Well you have used the words Fancy and Pussy…. In different entries… Google’s pretty awesome and scary like that because it works out the logistics of word combinations.
I’ve seen some of the weird combos show up in my statistics.. Like Gay + Foreigner and Gay + CJ Cherryh I ignore it because… Well, people are weird like that.
Which makes me pity anyone who DOES see what I google. Lol
they see it… You know when it auto-fills. Fortunately for your sanity and your anonymity, it doesn’t say “She looked for this… e-mail her your opinion of THAT search” 😀
That’s hilarious! The only search I get (usually) is for monster boobs! 😄
Annnnd now I’m searching monster boobs. Are these boobs that are also monsters or is it the boobs OF a monster!? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!
I think they want giant boobs, but I’m not sure, since apparently, monster fetishes seem to be popular!
Green boobies…scores of them!!!
Yeah I try not to think too deeply on it! 😀
Smart girl, smart.
Lol so hard!
LOL I love my stats page! But the search terms that lead people to my blog always leaving me feeling dirty… like, do I talk about sex THAT MUCH… or at all???
Darling, have YOU read your page!? Lol
lol of course not! The second I hit that publish button, I erase it from my mind! How else do you expect me to maintain my sanity?
A complex cocktail of psychotropics and voodoo, of course!