Me: “Why isn’t this remote working?” (shakes it)
Caolinn: “It’s because it’s old…like you.”
Me: (glare) “Watch it.”
Caolinn: “Watch what? Your hair turn gray?”
Me: “I’m going to shave you when you sleep.”
Caolinn: “You can’t…you’re like 280 in dog years, so you need your rest.”
Me: “Keep digging that grave.”
Caolinn: “Which one?” (smirks)
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
Maybe we could just rent them out for a couple of days when they act up? That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
She said…getting us both on a law enforcement watch list… Lol
She is good. You have taught her well. It’s time to turn her loose on the world! 🙂
Lord…help us all, and forgive me what I have done.
Are you kidding? I’d buy that kid in a heartbeat on Craigslist! Aaaaaand now we’re both going to jail.
I just laughed so hard that I wheezed. Fuck, I am old.
Duct Tape, a closet and about 3 hours works wonders…. Either that or swap out the coffee (if) she drinks for decaff… then swap it back in about 2 weeks… Reverse if she’s already on decaff.
Though this is the sort of banter my mother and I often go through when we’re out and about.
*takes notes* lol
Some cultures declare their children adults when they reach puberty, often involving a complicated ritual. Think of all the angst it might solve. 🙂 –Curt
Fly free, little bird! Fly freeeeeeeeeee!
True story here, MeglyMc. Young man worked for me in Africa. Had scars running up his chest. “Where did you get those scars,” I asked. “The Bush Devil ate me,” he responded. He’d been to bush school to learn how to be a man. For graduation, the Bush Devil ate him as a child and spit him back out as a man…. Fly freeeee. 🙂
I’m making my kids read this story EVERY FUCKING DAY.
Gratitude kids…gratitude.
🙂
Will the smart assery be compounded in your grandchildren? If so, may god have mercy on your soul.
They’ll literally just be a white ass with a mouth affixed to the left cheek, telling people off.
Ohhh. They sound adorable. I look forward to their show on TLC.
I’d have to have twenty to even be considered.
Granny Meg + 20.
I can here network executives calling me now.
I want to be on the show.
Playing the part of the quirky neighbor…JOHN CALLAGHAN!!!!!
Hahaha. And don’t forget creepy. I’ll make lots of inappropriate comments to grandma.
She’ll lean into them…it’s her way.
“Does my ass look fat in this speedo?”
Who would buy her? 😉
I would. *sigh*
Children are a joy, they enrich your life, repeat as often as needed to convince yourself.
I’m tattooing it on my hand. 🙂
My older brother used to say that old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill, but he’s already dead, so I don’t know if I should believe him…
I shouldn’t be laughing this hard…at a dead man…but I am. 🙂
Too bad you can’t drug her into a deep, coma like sleep and put a bald cap on her so she can wake up scared for just a sec before she realizes what you did! Mwaahhaaaa!!!
(wait, did I actually write that?) LMAO!
Ohhhh, if only she were a deeper sleeper, that would be GOLD!