So…my friend D’Avonte was wearing a black mini-dress with lace tights and stilettos, because…it was a Tuesday.
Me: “Dee, if you’re going to wear a short skirt, you’ve got to sit lady-like…knees together, sister…knees together.”
D’Avonte: (laughing) “What’d you see!? What’d you see!?”
Me: “I saw a flash of white, which given your outfit and your skin color seems unusual, so let’s, please, keep it classy.”
D’Avonte: (throwing hands to the sky) “Jesus, help me!”
Me: “We can all use all the help we can get today, apparently.”
D’Avonte: “True. You know, Miss M…Jesus IS everywhere.”
Me: “Awesome, so he can see what I can…think about that when you’re sitting.”
D’Avonte: (theatrically crossing legs)
Me: “Thank you.”
D’Avonte: (gesturing to crotch) “I don’t need Jesus all up in there.”
37 thoughts on “Remember When I Got To Teach Reading? Those Were The Days…”
OMG !!! 😆
I love the way that kid’s mind works 🙂
An immaculate concept?
Oh, it was immaculate alright. Lol
Never a dull moment for you.
Terrifying or bizarre, yes. Dull…never.
OMG, PLEASE give this kid a tiara for Christmas! If only Girlfriend knew how beloved she is on this blog… 😀
Bitch wants a crown. Tiaras won’t do.
Jesus doesn’t have to be all up in there. He has seen it all.. Let’s hear it for Tuesdays!
LOL! Seriously, when I think *I’ve* seen too much…this will give me perspective.
She is awesome. I love her.
Me, too. 🙂 I don’t know what I shall do if she graduates. I think it’s high-time to fail her in all subjects.
Shouldn’t Jesus, Santa, and the NSA buy you SOME time for a reading lesson between them?
From your mouth to my checkbook, Mister!
I always eagerly anticipate another appearance by D’Avonte.
Now you know how I feel every day, waiting for the bus to bring her to school. “Please don’t be absent…PLEASE don’t be absent…”
Is her attendance pretty good?
Thankfully, near perfect.
You go above the call of duty. You are commended for your courage in addressing public decency, teaching modesty, and especially mentioning religion in a public school. Perhaps you’ve spared a nun and Ms D. some shearing memory in the future (although clearly too late to save yourself). It’s those little lessons that have big impacts.
Oh, I’m way past salvage at this point. The things these eyes have seen…
Jesus Christ, God in Heaven, hallowed be thy name… ah the crotch humour. I’m strangely feeling aroused and pious all at the same time, and that’s just confusing despite the several glasses of scotch… so, is this what kids call a party these days?
Scotch? Holy kerosene, Batman. And erect and holy at once…that’s the damn Daily Double, right there, it is.
when it rains, it pours
Also, I think I might be getting weird, but I’m still several steps behind you. And that’s a goddam compliment.
*bows* I couldn’t possibly ask for more. 🙂
I AM SO DEAD RIGHT NOW!!!
But D’Avonte is all kinds of right. If Mary Magdalene thought the same way, and didn’t want Jesus all up in there, we wouldn’t have so many rumors swirling about their relationship as we do today…
SO TRUE! (dodges lightning)
God, I so needed that laugh today. Thank D’Avonte for me. And thank you for telling the story!
I’d thank her…but her ego is getting out of control. lol
Wow. Just wow
A good laugh in Starbucks. Thanks, sister. Peace, John