(A conversation by Facebook messenger…)
John: “Jesus, have you seen the magazine cover of Kim K’s ass?”
Me: “I fucking hate her…how would I have seen that?”
(Posts photo to conversation.)
Me: “That CANNOT be real.”
John: “I don’t even care if it’s real, it’s amazing.”
Me: “So, to be clear…if all it takes to impress you is a circus tent ass, let me introduce you to my high school chemistry teacher…she’s you type. She couldn’t even walk between desks. Mind you..she’s probably 60 by now.”
John: “Yes, but is she single…”
45 thoughts on “Also, I’m Pretty Sure My History Teacher Was Hung Like A Mule, If That’s Your Thing”
I can’t stand ANYTHING to do with the Kardashians!!! Grrr. But I did accidentally see her ass on Broke Girls the other night! OMG!! Ewww…. who? wha…. HOW can anyone find that sexy????
It’s elephant man big, right!?
Holy crap! I didn’t know it was going to do that!! You can delete it! So sorry!
Ha ha ha! Love it!
OMG! Now, I’m traumatized. My mind keeps telling me jokes that aren’t funny and can’t be mentioned in polite society. This is going to go on all night now….Argh!
Welcome to my every moment. 🙂
You need a big ass when you have shit for brains.
Amen sista! 🙂
Well an ass that big must make metric tons of shit.
It is like one of those stress squeeze characters. Like someone grabbed her by the waist and all the innards squeezed into her onion.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
HAHAHA ok so tonight I ran across this: (A must see) http://www.buzzfeed.com/keithhabersberger/guys-recreate-kim-kardashians-butt-photo?bffb
This…this is why I love buzzfeed.
Omg…I fucking love John for that response. So on point.
He’s a constant source of messenger amusement.
I have heard that about History teachers. Wait, I am a History teacher. By the way, her ass is ridiculous.
So is she single?
For you…probably. 🙂
Wow, am I in a cultural desert? I have never seen Kim’s ass. Why does this feel so good? 🙂 –Curt
Don’t google!!! Whatever you do!!!
After I said that, there she was this morning, naked on my news service. I didn’t have to Google. 🙂
I don’t want to alarm you, but because you saw this…you now have syphilis.
Damn! How am I going to explain that to Peggy. Wait, I’ll let you explain. On second thought… 🙂
Shit, I’m not stepping anywhere NEAR that landmine.
Good thinking. LOL
I guess be careful what you get famous for? As for the pic at the top, the Safeway in the Emeryville mall used to have a sign om the front that said: Emeryville Police Department Beat Office. I once asked a cashier what they did in there, but she just rolled her eyes and made an up-and-down gesture with her hand.
HA!!!! Don’t ask where their doughnuts are…just don’t.
That’s the picture everyone is blabbering about… What’s the big deal? Wait, here it is with Rand Paul’s head photoshopped onto it (h/t Driftglass):
*cringe* I didn’t realize I had anything in common with a Kardashian.
I’m gonna go cry now.
No, hers is made of silicone and volcanic debris. That and you haven’t sold your soul to satan. See, you’re nothing alike. Lol
Oh, thank goodness! My caboose is definitely all natural. When I was a kid I was told that I could probably balance beverages on it and not spill a drop, and that was *before* puberty…
Good news…there is a market for that now, apparently! 🙂
I was just thinking that maybe I should try my hand (or, rather, my ass) at cocktail waitressing. Then again, given the circumstances I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable doing work that combines the words “cock” and “tail”.
Did you see the Chelsea handler spoof?
Loved it! But, then…I adore her. 🙂
That man has his priorities in order!
But as for you… how on Earth can you hate Kim K?! This woman stands at the forefront of women’s rights! She is the face of feminism! Her all natural and untouched beauty is overshadowed only by her astounding intelligence and excellent taste in men! Not to mention she is so down-to-earth and humble. How dare you?!
I just threw up in my mouth. And down my shirt, And all over my pants. And in my own shoes. Big long hugs? 😛
LOL yup, that definitely seems like the appropriate response
Speaking of asses, laughing mine off.
I wish that worked for mine. *sobs silently*