Me: “So who wants to hear about how I’m the most embarrassing person alive?”
Tracy: “I do, I do!”
Me: “You know how I’m basically blind in the dark?”
Tracy: “Ohhhhh, this should be good.”
Me: “So, I was handing out pamphlets at the football game, and I walked STRAIGHT up some guy, with the biggest idiot grin on my face, asking if I could talk to him about the budget override…”
Tracy: “And…?”
Me: “He starts talking to me, and I realize he’s the principal I dated summer before last… the one where we broke up and it ended horribly, and we never spoke again.”
Tracy: “Oh, my, God…what did you do?”
Me: “I stammered about how he clearly already knew about the override and then ran for it.”
(deafening silence)
Me: “Nothing? You’re not going to say ANYTHING about this?”
Tracy: “You exist to make me feel better about myself.”
Me: “I want to argue, and I can’t.”
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
D’oh!
Seriously. World’s largest dumbass
Trust me; you’re not alone. 😉
I’m in excellent company.
Lol😄😄😄
Sigh…right? 🙂
Oh good lord. In my past I have shit where I’ve eaten so many times I’ve practically been kicked out of the barn.
Ohhhh, we never worked together. Lol. I avoid that like the plague. I never want to work next to anyone’ whose tongue has been in my mouth. And I’m stealing your phrasiogy…it’s brilliant.
Hahaha. I misunderstood. Then you are fortuneate then not to have to run into this guy too often. And steal away, I stole the phrase from somewhere years ago.
Look on the brightside. Mr. P now sits at home fantasizing that you still lust for him and his brain will eat him alive with false notions of how his life has improved. What an intuitively clever move on your part. You win again 🙂
You are entirely too kind. Trust me, I’m sure the heart attack was worse on his end. Lol
too funny!
I do make it easy to laugh at me. 🙂
Perhaps in doing so, you give permission to others to laugh at themselves too. ❤
I like your version very much. 🙂
wow, so bad? I say that line about “you exist to make me feel better…” about our soccer national team because we always lost against other countries and I guess now we just exists to make feel better the other countries >__<
LOL! Awwww, so sorry about your team. What country?
Peru, we fight for the last place but sometimes we have not even that “honor” XP
I was wondering who my hits from Peru were! MYSTERY SOLVED! 🙂
Yep, I “hit” you from Peru XD
LOL
Uh oh! My bad! Excuse me, Do we know each other?? NO? Oh sorry….. I thought you were someone else! ha ha ha ha! 😛
Ugh, I wish anyone would buy that, but everyone who knows me knows this is par for the Meg course.
NO wait! See…what you do is say all that in one breath and just keep on walkin! LOL! By the time they know you are full of shit, you be gone!! ha ha!
That’s it…you’re officially in charge of my PR.
LMAO! Alrighty then!!
Too funny. I’m so blind I recently flipped off & screamed at someone in a car who was flashing their lights at me & then realized after I drove by it was my best friend dropping off my son & trying to tell me hi.
HA! You win! 🙂
You are FUCKING EXCELLENT!
LOL…at being humiliating. Yes…yes, I am. 🙂
Every one has to be good at something 🙂
HA!
Damn, I don’t know who you are but your tongue sure looks familiar. 🙂 –Curt
I should have started with that line. SHOULD HAVE. 🙂
Don’t ya love that? ??? Lol!!!!
I know…it just wouldn’t be my life without this kind of action.
LMAO! The only way that situation could have been any better is if you’d cried, “Oh, look! A flying Kardashian!” while you pointed behind him… and then ran off when he turned around in complete confusion.
OMG, I am SO doing that next time I fuck up…which should be within a week, because, it’s me.
Aww, that’s cute… you think you’ll make it an entire week.
I resemble that remark.