Waking up the twins this morning…
Me: “Did the Tooth Fairy come?”
Liam: (incredulous look…reaching under his pillow) “Yes…she brought me…a Target gift card?”
Me: “It must be a marketing thing…she’s probably got a corporate sponsorship.”
Liam: (eye roll)
Xavier: (Under his breath) “Or she just got caught without cash again…”
37 thoughts on “You’re Lucky That Make-Believe Bitch Didn’t Leave You A Check”
🙂 Thanks, Victo!
I remember when all I got was a quarter. Grumble.
Right!? $5 giftcard to the only place we shop anyway! TOTAL DEAL!
Best… Tooth Fairy… Ever!
I’m counting on you to explain that to him…and his therapist.
Tell him I’ll trade him a quarter for the gift card if he’s unsatisfied.
Great tip!! My kid is losing teeth like crazy, it feels.
Seriously! They’re worse than bird feathers!
Ha! No kidding! Well son I added up your tooth allowance, subtracted your food and rent. I was going to charge you an entertainment fee but decided to waive it this month. Because I love you and shit like that. And sweet pea, you owe mommy $743.27. Big Kiss!
LMAO!!!! OMG….Deb, you just made my entire day!
I know people that would pull their own teeth out for a target gift card. Then again, I know some pretty shady people. Forget I said anything….
I’m starting to rethink how much I need my own actually. I need to call my mom and see if she’s willing to buy-in,
The title of this is just AWESOME!
LOL! I was worried it was too abrasive…so THANK YOU! 🙂
My kids were always told that the tooth fairy didn’t work weekends, I mean, c’mon! Even mythological critters need a day off!
Ugh…if only my kids believed in make believe unions. Stupid “right-to-work” state. 🙂
Our Tooth Fairy has had a few do-overs… But mostly we blame the kids and say they weren’t looking hard enough. One of us does this in the kitchen, while the other tries to find the damn tooth and make the deposit. Classic misdirection…
I’ve done that a million times, but I seriously had no cash. The best is when one kid lends me cash for the other.
Love that title too. Target recently came to Canada but they are not doing well. They run out of inventory all the time and the shelves go bare. They cannot get the numbers right. Sometimes I’ll walk around the store and pretend I’m in Moscow in 1986. Remember “Moscow on the Hudson”? What strange little movie. People lining up for toilet paper.
Another great Robin Williams movie. Target is AMAZING. I love Target. It’s like Walmart, but without the inbreeding, rampant diseases, human rights violations, and villainy.
Wow! A Target card for a tooth? That’s a good deal!
Bad time to mention that I got the card for free when I purchased $25 in school supplies, during a promotion?
LOL Smart mommy!
Back in the dark ages (before gift cards) I used to get a crisp $1.00 bill for every tooth EXTRACTED (stubborn little pricks – which explains the 6 years of braces I wore). One night, my Dad lifted my pillow and dropped (deliberately) 4 quarters – one on top of the other (which of course as I was a light sleeper) woke me up to see the real “Tooth Fairy”. Apparently, subtlety was not my Dad’s strong point – or maybe he was tired of having to pay both the dentist AND me for the same damn tooth!
HA! You were by FAR the cheaper of the two expenses.
The tooth fairy last made an appearance at our house when my son was 8. He found money under his pillow and proceeded to rip it up stating that he wanted his tooth back to keep as a treasure. That night, he put the shredded bill under his pillow and said that the tooth fairy better bring his tooth back. She did…..along with a note stating that there is a one time only return policy and she would no longer provide payment for any of his teeth.
The tooth fairy went scorched earth. lol
This is hilarious – the post and the comments! I’m old enough to remember getting quarters, too. I don’t think they had gift cards in “my day.” 🙂
Ugh. I should have started with quarters from the start to keep their standards in check. 🙂
Kinda difficult to go backwards, huh? Oooh, I know. Give him a piggy bank just for quarters that opens easily at the bottom. Next time, easy to raid in a pinch! 😀
Damn, sounds a lot better than the quarter I got as a kid.
Right!? My parents were strictly quarters, but I used to get teeth farmed out by my dentist, 4-6 at a time.
Ouch. But I get it. When dentists look in my mouth they immediately begin planning their next vacation. I think I sent one to China, several times. 🙂 –Curt
I never thought I had what it takes to be a competent fairy, tooth or otherwise, until I became the garbage fairy for a while. Where did all of the garbage go? Must be the garbage fairy again.
Maybe you could pitch the idea to Target Corporate: Target branded Tooth Fairy Cards! You might not get rich from it, but they could at least give you a few to lend continuity to your story…
Fuck that…I want royalties. 🙂
Reblogged this on myplace2spu and commented:
OMG! so funny I needed that tonight!