What Doesn’t Kill You…Makes You Snarkier.


My daughter has recently expressed an interest in horror movies, and being that she’s approaching 15 and thus unlikely to wind up sleeping in my bed for six months because of psychological trauma, I let her watch Poltergeist with me, for the first time.

(Two seconds into the movie…)

Caolinn: “Why does that TV look like that?”

Me: “It has a picture tube…TVs used to weigh like a hundred pounds.”

Caolinn: “Why is that phone on the wall? Β You can’t move.”

Me: “Welcome to the 80’s, Caol.”

Caolinn: “Why is the TV all fuzzy?”

Me: “Because at night, the stations used to stop programming around midnight. Β They’d play the national anthem, and then just stop broadcasting.”

Caolinn: “Seriously…the scariest thing about this movie is how you guys used to live. Β PLEASE tell me there is going to be something dead in this movie, aside from the technology.”

53 thoughts on “What Doesn’t Kill You…Makes You Snarkier.

  1. OMG! Does she know we didn’t have cellphones!? Does she know that those rotary-dial, wall-phones were sometimes locked by parents, forcing you (me) to walk all the way to the other side of the complex to use a PAY PHONE to call your friends!?

    That’s so hilarious.

  2. Rick

    My first mobile phone was attached to my car with one of those curly cords. Kids today don’t know how it was to walk to school in the snow. It was uphill both ways.

  3. Dear lord..I feel so old. I hope she doesn’t ever find out that we only had about 6 channels to watch and if the president was speaking, your night was screwed. She’d think we were completely uncivilized!!

  4. That’s hilarious! My kids know what landlines are because they have seen them in the museum … err … I mean their technophobe grandparents’ house. But it does boggle their little minds that before cell phones, if you were out of the house you were unreachable. They can’t imagine that as a way to be, and frankly at this point in my life I can’t either.

  5. My son thought I lived in the stone age when I told him we made popcorn on the stove and it used to take 10 minutes to to heat up a can of soup.
    I haven’t had the heart to share stories of doing research papers using paper printed encyclopedias.

  6. Willy Nilly

    Now I know I’m a dinosaur. All that’s left is to sit still long enough in the Man chair to petrify. I told my 23 yo last-born daughter I did research papers with pen and paper, used a slide rule, and drew engineering designs without a CAD program. She thought I was uncivilized and that just confirmed it.

  7. Cary Vaughn

    HA!!! And they are “re-booting” this movie, too. Wonder how the producers and writers will tackle THAT? Reminds me of the time my then-14-year-old-niece watched A Nightmare on Elm Street. When it was over, she turned to my sister and said, “That was dumb.” Sheesh. That movie scared me to death when I was a kid.

  8. The Little Butch That Could (TLBTC)

    Not only was the phone on the wall so you weren’t free to roam around, only as far as the cord would stretch but there were also party lines! You might have to wait a few minutes to start slow dialing your friend. Ahh, the good ol’ days! Cheers.

  9. Doug in Oakland

    Google turned 16 years old the other day. What did we do before Google? We went to the fricken library. Things don’t get any more civilized than the library. Why am I checking out books on human sexuality and organic chemistry? I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to disclose that, Ma’am.

  10. I love your posts. Needed a good laugh. Am I screwy for enjoying how pre-internet life confuses kids today? And for thinking at least I will know how to cook after the apocalypse hits?

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