Statistics…Like Analytics…But Without The Anal.


It’s time for another round of terrible ways people found my blog!



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1. Who is googling “Steve Buschemi penis”, and does it have one crazy sad eye?

2. I’m not even going to get into y’all’s mommy issues.

3. Which one of you exactly, is “scrutinizing your vagina”…and wound up here?

4. If you’re looking for tips on “fantastic fucking”…this place isn’t going to help you at ALL.

5. I feel it necessary to apologize to the ghost of Leonid Brezhnev.  Sir, I swear I haven’t written about you, and I’m sorry you’re stuck in there with all the penis inquiries.

53 thoughts on “Statistics…Like Analytics…But Without The Anal.

  1. I’d like to know how my blog got so popular in Nigeria, and why my computer is running slow. I’m not the one scrutinizing–I don’t have one–I’m not the one having fantastic anything, but I just won the lottery in Mombasa. Wohoo!

  2. These are all good questions, but the real thought provoker is this: does Steve Buschemi’s penis have jagged, crooked teeth to go along with that eye? Now I’m curios. Ok, maybe not enough to google it but still….

  3. I think we’re all forgetting something here: Besides the fourteen-year-old dicks who drive the internet, there are the thirteen-year-old dicks who designed the voice recognition and autocorrect software on your phone so that when it guesses wrong, that wrong guess is invariably a word or phrase found on your list of search terms.

    I get a choice on my phone: Siri, who appears to be 96 years old and siriously hard-of-hearing, or google, and guesses that are such a stretch in order to hit that dirty-word bar that, speaking as an ex-Linguistics nerd AND ex-systems analyst, there is no friggin’ way the software wasn’t tilted in that direction by the juvenile-minded.

  4. Bloody hell. I know you’re a bit bent and all, Meg, but what on earth… the way people find you is totally more interesting than the way they find me. What the heck is wrong with me?

  5. oh, y’know. this and that, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, drivel. but, I’m makin’ a come back. 😉 internets – you have been warned. p.s. – – I’ve missed you, too.

  6. elitosphere

    The greatest thing would be if whomever did these searches found your blog, read your posts, and then went, “Ok, this shit is too twisted… even for me.”

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