Madam, You Are Too Stupid To Use Caffeine…Or Your Ovaries


(The man can’t even go get coffee…)

Drew: OMG…some girl at Starbucks just asked if the Sumatra coffee was named after Frank Sinatra.


Drew: I can’t make shit up this good.  The entire line went silent.

Me: Wait…YOU went silent?  That’s gotta be a first.

Drew: Well, I was half-way through writing her a prescription for a hysterectomy before I stopped myself and realized I’d get sued.

Me: Yup, there’s our Drew…I knew he was in there somewhere.

17 thoughts on “Madam, You Are Too Stupid To Use Caffeine…Or Your Ovaries

  1. Your friend can write prescriptions for hysterectimies? What about vasectomies? If so, I have people/colleagues/students he should meet 😉

    I mean really, some people should never breed!

    BTW I love every post that Drew is in 🙂

    • He actually flew into town for four hours just to take me to dinner, last week, and I told him that he was popular. I’m not sure how his head fit on the return flight.

  2. Sometimes, I”m able to filter myself. And by filter, I ask the yes/no question of “Is there a way anything I say next can be construed as funny to the recipient in addition to whatever other emotion it evokes?”

    • LMAO!!! Um…thank you, and I hope to hell I don’t get your fired. If you do…I’ll buy you a drink?

      There is a clear reason why we’ve been friends for so many years. I only wish I remembered half the shit he says to me.

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