Somehow LESS gay than the other Chippendales.
Because it’s Throwback Thursday, I’m going to recount a conversation that took place, last year, between myself and my, then, nine-year-old. We were discussing his new teacher, who had a strong Texas accent, which apparently reminded him of the twang of a contestant on The Amazing Race.
Liam: “His voice sounded like that Chippendale from Amazing Race.”
Me: “Um…please don’t tell him that.”
Liam: “Why? And what IS a Chippendale anyway?”
Me: (pause…calculating my options, before giving in to the truth) “They are men who dance in their underwear. It’s inappropriate.”
Liam: “Why do they dance in their underwear?”
Me: (hating my life) “For money.”
Liam: “Then why are they named after chipmunks?”
Me: “They’re not…I’ll explain it when I’m not driving.”
Liam: “Maybe it’s because none of them wear pants.”
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
As a kid, I was profoundly troubled by the fact that cartoon characters never wore pants. I mean, you would think they would want to hide their missing genitalia.
(Gosh, I hope no children read these comments.)
This comment is probably the LEAST of the concerns on this site, if there are kids here. lol
oh my god. dying. how much do I love “hating my life.” when the kids ask me questions like “but why do women have sex with men for money?” after I’ve given like a historical perspective worthy of PBS on prostitution and they STILL ask me a question I’m like, “damn. it. kids. what more do you want??? I birthed you for god’s sake. now you want to ask me why women sleep with men for money??? jesus. don’t make me regret motherhood.” this post is possibly my favorite to date…..ok……this week at least.
Seriously…the stretch marks and vaginal sutures should exempt me from this shit forever. I literally just handed Caolinn a book, when she turned 10, and ran for it. Luckily, she passed it to her brothers, who I’m confident do NOT want to about their bodies, erections, or baby-makin’ with their mother.