Thoracic Park



My darling friend, Drew, who is good to animals, loving to his children, generous with the needy, and the first person you’d ever want to be your doctor in the time of a crisis…is the meanest attending physician in the world.

Drew: (to me) “Hang on for a second…” (putting the phone to the side, to talk to one of his residents) “What’s going on?”

Resident: *mumblemumble pulmonary mumblemumble*

Drew: “Well, what procedure are you going to order for that patient?”

Resident: *mumblemumble hemopneumosarcoiditis mumble*

Drew: “Oooookay, and what procedure are you going to order AFTER that one?”

Resident: “Ummmmm, I’m not sure, Sir.”

Drew: “The procedure you’d order after is called a FUCKING AUTOPSY, because that first thing you wanted to do is going to KILL him! The object of this ICU is to make them LIVE…you know that, right!? We’re trying to free up beds by getting them better, NOT by KILLING THEM.”

Resident: “Ummm”

Drew: (to me) “Hey, loved the picture of the kids…say hi to your folks.”

Me: “Ummm.”

12 thoughts on “Thoracic Park

  1. wow. that is friggin’ hilarious. especially since i’ve been overdosing on Grey’s Anatomy(and all of a sudden caps matter) and i know what an attending is and a resident is and am way too excited to know those things. And does it mean I have to get an emergency appendectomy because I have pain in my lower right abdomen because everyone seems to need that on GA. I don’t have insurance so that would be bad. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I really did need my appendix out? Not financially but it would make a great story, right? Just rambling now – sorry.
    p.s. great post title. really great.

  2. ummmm. excuse me but I am well aware of who Dr. Cox is because he is my pretend husband. I adore him. and Scrubs. and you for loving it too. weird – i just told you i adore you and that’s creepy. you get it, right?

    • Trust me…not the creepiest thing I’ve been told…today, even. And I just want to be friends with Jordan. 1. Because she’s AMAZING. 2. Because she’d make me look reasonable.

  3. You KNOW that resident is gonna learn a lot from him though – it’ll make them better doctors to have someone like that in charge. Thanks for the laugh though – that was worth a guffaw in my world.

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