Guess I Better Stop Talking About Robbing Those Banks In the 80s, Too, Huh?



(A call from my son’s teacher.)

Ms. Bonn: “So, I wanted to relate something that happened in class.”

Me: “What did he do?”

Ms. Bonn: “It’s not that he DID anything, I just wanted to share a story.”

Me: “Um…okay.  Is this story going to result in an office referral?”

Ms. Bonn: “No, no, no, seriously.  Today we were discussing places we liked to go, and another student in the class raised his hand, and expressed that he and his family liked to go to Chick-Fil-A.”

Me: “Oh crap…” (knowing exactly where this was headed…)

Ms. Bonn: *laughing* “Yeah…so Xavier raised his hand, and said, ‘I would never go to Chick-Fil-A.  They season their chicken with the tears of the oppressed’, and went on to quote exactly how much money they gave to ‘homophobic anti-freedom organizations’.”

Me: “Oh, God.  I’m so sorry he disrupted, but we have some strong opinions regarding civil rights and social justice in our house.”

Ms. Bonn: “Seriously, it’s cool.  I just thought you’d want to know, he actually listens to you.”

Me: “Grrrrreat.  Well, then do us both a favor and don’t mention our governor by name, or you’re totally going to have to write him an office referral.”

21 thoughts on “Guess I Better Stop Talking About Robbing Those Banks In the 80s, Too, Huh?

  1. *they season their chicken with the tears of the oppressed* you really need to run for governor of texas because that would be great worked into a campaign speech.

  2. I nearly choked on my tea… I love this! I, unfortunately, passed on a family tradition of teaching my child to swear. Honestly, my first word was “damn!” Thanks, Dad. Anyway, once I realized I had inadvertently taught my son the same, I sat him down (at age 3) and patiently explained about swear words and the appropriate time to use them. We had that conversation several times, including the correct usage of the word “f*ck”. Of course, then I kind of blew it when he snuck up on me at church. I jumped and said “What the F*** are you doing!?!?!?!?!” in front of several old ladies. Luckily, they laughed it off – they were all mothers too.

    • HA HA HA HA!!! That is awesome.

      Because of what I do, I have had to learn to refrain from cursing for most of my day, so in those rare moments when I’m not with my kids or someone else’s kids…I’m like a sailor on leave.

      • When my son was about two, we were driving somewhere with my mom in the front seat. She sneezed and this little chirpy voice from the back seat yelled “Goddammit, Grandma!” She turned to me, eyes bugging out while trying not to laugh. I said to him “Honey, it’s God BLESS you when someone sneezes” and he said “Oh yeah… it’s Godammit when you spill coffee on yourself.” Mom sighed and said “The apple sure didn’t fall far from the tree.”

  3. I’m laughing at your post (and impressed by your parenting, politics, and children), but also from the last comment, because when I taught in East LA, and my Spanish was (is) limited to the level of a 2-year-old’s, I would say that apple expression in parent conferences because it allowed me to be either sincerely complimentary or passive-aggressive: “Your child is doing great because of you”, or…the other.

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