Miracles don’t just happen on tortillas, folks.
Every night, after I tuck her in, my daughter wants me to lay down with her, which inevitably results in the dog (Sully) jumping in the bed, as well.
Me: “Yeah, there’s nothing more relaxing than listening to the dulcet tones of Sully, licking himself. Yeah, that’s it, boy…really get on in there.”
Caolinn: “Hey, he likes to keep himself clean.”
Me: “If he likes to be clean, you’d think he wouldn’t hate baths so much. You’d think he’d be all, ‘Hey, there’s one less day I have to lick my own ass.'”
*moving to get up and go to my own bed*
Caolinn: “You cannot leave on that note. Lay back down and start talking about something that doesn’t involve the dog’s anus.”
*long pause*
Me: “I got nothing.”
Caolinn: *sigh*
Fisticuffs and Shenanigans 
Thanks for that…lmao. Also? I think I see Jesus.
He sees you, too. Right now.
Holy S**t, I see Jesus too . . .
If I get one more person to see Jesus, I’m pretty sure that I’m a shoo-in for sainthood.
Unfortunately, when one has a dog, Dog Butt is frequently the topic of conversation, even if you are not typically given to Butt discussions.
Agreed. It’s as though, because they’re so open with their butt, that it makes it an acceptable topic of conversation, even over dinner.
Seriously! Dogs are entirely comfortable with themselves. We could take a lesson with that, for things other than our butts.
I wish I lived my ass half as much. The half I don’t want is the licking half. That I can live without.
I just recently figured out how to sign up for email alerts when you post something new. And the subject line, for my very first email alert from you? “Why Does the Dog’s Butt Smell Like Listerine?”
Sadly, this is the least horrifying message you will ever get from me. *hangs head in shame*
we need to start praying to your dog’s ass quick! “sully’s ass, please keep me out of rush hour traffic when I have to pee and protect me from the PTA moms.”
*WISH* that was my dog’s ass. My dog’s ass doesn’t even look like Gozar.
You are a horrible mother.
Your children are very lucky to have such a horrible mother.
LMAO…new parenting resume bullet point…